Big Time French Maid
by ReadingAddictWeirdo
Summary: James wants bandanas but ends up in the Playboy store with Carlos. Kendall/Logan. James/Carlos.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Big Time Rush.

**Warning: **Contains slash, light smut, slight cursing, Playboy. Kendall/Logan. James/Carlos. (Italics = Flashback)

**Big Time French Maid**

James grinned widely. Why? Because three minutes ago he'd just bought dozens of bandanas! Each one was a different colour—_any_ colour that could be imagined and named. In effect, the boy was holding two bags the size of a microwave. After those spendings he'd lost himself in the mall, so he started wandering through unknown stores and drooling over random fashions they had in display.

Passing over Hot Topic slowly, James glanced from the corner of his eye and saw a shirt on a wall with the Big Time Rush logo on it, plus Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan, all smiling and grinning. Seeing this, James was reminded that his three hockey-playing best friends had stayed home from the mall. He recalled a fresh memory…

_"Guys, let's go to the mall! Get up, stop being lazy! We haven't gone outside in, like, weeks!" James exclaimed._

_All of the boys had groaned. Last night they had spent four hours trying to record a song, plus the previous week, and they were all too tired to do anything. Not even a refrigerator full of chocolate pudding could get them to just simply lift their hands to get a spoon._

_"It's only been four days. Go by yourself. You can handle it, right?" Kendall said, stretching on the couch while Logan flipped through channels in the television, his eyes half closed._

_James gave them puppy dog eyes. "But there's a huge sale on banda_–_"_

_"No!" they all shouted unanimously, though it hadn't really sounded like a shout; more like a raspy yell._

_Carlos limped over to James, previously sitting on the table munching down on a big plate of crispy fish sticks and ketchup-covered fries. Aside from the tall brunette, he was the only one that still had enough energy to even stand up. He took out the half-eaten fish stick out of his mouth and looked at James straight in the eye, his face completely and dramatically serious._

_"Dude_…_make sure when you arrive at the mall_…_you buy_…_more fish sticks!" A wide, bright smile spread along Carlos' flawless cheekbones, abruptly turning into a pouty frown. "Please! I'm starving and I need energy! You know." He winked and tapped his helmet, going back to the table to eat his lunch._

_James had managed to nod weakly, stricken and hypnotized by the wink his hungry friend had given him. It could only have _one_ definition and James knew it all too well._

The brunette's face got hot as he regained consciousness to reality. Pushing away the flashback, James shook his arms; they had started to fall asleep from all the pressure of the bandana bags and he needed to get his blood circulating. James started to wander around—again. He came across a store called 'Desirable' and as he entered, people looked at him.

"Probably because I'm so good looking," James thought cockily.

He entered the store and was immediately greeted by a girl. She had black hair that easily spiked up, facing the ceiling and another chunk that had neon-blue highlights and was tied in a prickly ponytail. She wore a black T-shirt, denim skinny jeans and black converse. Awkwardly, no make-up concealed her face, though it created no complications for her hot figure.

"Hello! Welcome to Desirable, a– Hey…you look familiar," the girl said, eyeing him in curiosity.

James' eyes shifted, though no one could tell because he wore dark-stained sunglasses. He was using these for a pretty natural and undetectable disguise along with his black fedora hat. You never know when a random girl is going to pop out of nowhere and shout 'It's James from Big Time Rush!' and then you start being trampled by rabid females.

The girl snapped her fingers. "Ah! You're that guy that always drinks a blueberry slushy, sitting on that bench over there!" She pointed to a corner outside the store.

James grinned nervously. "Yeah! That's me. Guy on a Bench Slurping Blue Slushies!" Seeming as he didn't want to be found out, he went along with the girl's flow.

Suddenly, the smile that the girl had worn a second ago disappeared. Her eyes narrowed and out of nowhere she grabbed a pink plastic cup and started beating James with it. "You fucking pervert! You're the one who's been groping my ass when I'm not looking!"

"No, wait! Th–" James stopped, noticing all the people that paused their interactions inside and outside the store to look at him with disgusted or flabbergasted expressions.

The girl kept beating him. Finally, when his mind registered the acidic pain in his shoulder did he realize the girl had ceased bashing him—only because she was about to get her hands on a huge bat! James screamed and ran out of the store ruggedly because of the substantial bags, looking for an exit. There was none except for the escalators leading down to the first floor, and the girl was _chasing_ him—didn't she care about her job? What a psycho!

"That wasn't me! I was lying, I promise!" James cried, desperately shoving over people, running down the escalators.

The only answers were the screech of the word 'liar' and a flying converse thrown at his head. The brunette ducked, avoiding the attacking item. Once his feet touched safe ground, he speedily headed for the Food Court, and in a flash of tiny luck, he had lost the girl and her flying weapons. James panted and sat on a chair, quickly smelling ketchup and smoked honey ham. He looked up and saw–

"Hi, you want a bite? I'm not going to finish it all, I think," Carlos said, his eyes twinkling through his incognito sunglasses, as he jabbed his index finger in the sandwich.

Wait—Carlos? That little dolt had deceived him… He said he _didn't_ want to go!

Trying to get over the shock, James cleared his throat and replied in an incognito high-pitched voice, "S-sure. Um, might I ask…what is a teenager like you doing he–"

"Hey! You look familiar!" Carlos grinned, pointing a french fry at James, whose muscles went directly tense. "You're that guy that's always touching that girl's butt. You know—you're always drinking a blueberry slushy?"

James' eye twitched. Did _everyone_ know about this butt-groping, slushy-eating pervert? He shook his head, afraid that Carlos might react the same way and start squirting ketchup in his eyes. "No, you must be mistaken. I am merely shopping here for my distraction."

Carlos raised an eyebrow skeptically, not buying the formal talk. "But I saw the girl chase you all the w–"

"I'm _not_ that stupid guy!" James emitted blatantly, annoyed.

The raven nodded. "Alright, I believe you. Oh, what do you have in those bags? They look heavy," Carlos questioned as James put the last one down on the floor.

"Nothing. Just some old merchandise– He-hey, no– Don't touch that! Let it go! I told you it's just stuff I bought at a random store. Let. Go!"

Abruptly, Carlos let go with a devilish smirk upon his face, and the bags flew out of James' hold, revealing tons and tons of bandanas. The Hispanic boy gasped, making a face. Looking up at the brunette with an agnostic expression, he stood up and slowly slid the sunglasses of off the tall boy's face. James scowled as he saw that Carlos was biting his lip, looking uncertain.

"What's the matter? I _told_ you guys I was going to the mall because there was a sale on bandanas. And what are _you_ doing here? I clearly remember y–"

Carlos groaned and whispered, "Kendall and Logan were having their _fun time_. The noises were _really_ bothering me, so I came here…to escape from that." He sheepishly grinned, blushing a rosy pink.

James made a face. "So…basically, they were having _sex_ and you came to _me_ because their moans were _bothering_ you?"

Carlos puckered his lips, and nodded an embarrassed yes. Apparently, the new and _improved_ explanation had made him feel highly uncomfortable. "You could say that. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to talk to that cute girl over there. You can have the sandwich… Oh, and you might want to put these back on."

Casually, Carlos slid the sunglasses back on James' face and swiftly disappeared to another table. James breathed out—ever since the raven's hands made contact with his face he had been holding his breath. His light brown eyes gave a glint of some kind of jealousy as Carlos' mouth opened and closed, talking to the giggling girl with a fluid tongue. Who knew he had such power—but James didn't like it one bit. He seemed to believe that the Carlos Charm only belonged to him, and was only used on _him_.

He couldn't help but stare at his best friend's radiant smile as the girl talked back. James' throat went dry. A thought popped up in his mind that Carlos _absolutely_ had to come with him to the restroom. Why? Obviously to get him away from the girl that had made James' insides twist into solid knots, and not the good kind. So, he decided to listen to his conscious for once and go with the plan.

Letting his body do all the work, James stood up and walked over to the table were the girl and Carlos were deviously flirting with each other. With agile hands, not even letting Carlos protest and fidget, the tall teen dragged him to the men's restroom. Once they were inside, James' grip vanished on his friend and he dropped him on the floor.

"Ow! Man, why did you bring me here? I was really getting it on with Ariella." Carlos rubbed his head, fuming as he became aware that he had forgotten his helmet.

James bit his lip, aware that he hadn't come up with a good excuse of why he was jealous. But his friend didn't know that, and so he kept that feeling private at all times; if Carlos _were_ to find out, God knows how many times he would be taken advantage of. Visibly, they were in a relationship, but Carlos always liked to play hard to get. The raven wasn't any ordinary jokester; he was also a mastermind of puppet control—the puppet being James.

"I…need to go potty," answered James, keeping a poker face.

"…Potty? You need _me_ to go potty. Do you need a hand, too?" Carlos mocked, giggling.

The brunette scowled, still attempting to keep a straight face and not revealing spurts of raging jealousy. "I need someone to keep my bags under surveillance when…I'm going. So they won't get stolen. Alright?"

Carlos stood up, putting his hands on his hips. "And where are they?"

"Right here–" James eyes grew wide in surprise. "Oh, crap! My bandanas!"

Before he could hit the door, the raven pushed it open, feeling the rush of cold air as the tall teen ran out in a hurry. Carlos walked out lazily, staring while James started to go berserk. The bags were missing. The brunette dramatically fell on his knees, scattering his hands all over the floor. Carlos rolled his eyes, stepped in front of him and crouched down to his level.

"Where are the bags that you want me to take care of, huh?" the raven questioned, patting James' head soothingly, which would hopingly end his clothing-related emotional storm.

"Stolen… It can't be happening," cried James as he gripped Carlos' shoulders. "My precious, expensive colourful and rare bandanas! My babies!"

Hearing James whine louder made Carlos' eardrums bleed internally. His bottom lip curled slightly into his mouth as the other boy inserted his sharp nails into his thin sweater, taunting his skin from under. Exhaling a breath, keeping his minor pain under control, Carlos went completely still. He wasn't one to really comfort friends when they were in a 'crisis', and instead he would holler nonsense such as fluffy kittens or swirly slides for a feel-better distraction. Those methods seemed to work pretty well sometimes. However, whispering them fiercely to James at the moment didn't seem to work _at all_, so he tried something else.

"Uh…James…my shoulders are going numb. Mind letting go? We can look for your bandanas later, right? I'll help you… Ha…"

Reluctantly, the grip on his shoulders went loose and Carlos stood up as he saw the brunette drag himself back to the restroom. When the door closed, Carlos turned around and spotted James' body limply draping itself over one of the toilets hanging on the walls. Who knew losing his bandanas could cause him so much grief. Tentatively, Carlos walked over to James and slung his arm around his shoulders.

"Dude. Let's just go buy another ton, come on. Then we can go to the playground as a reward! Yeah!" Carlos began jumping up and down, his Little Kid Inner taking over.

James sighed, banging his forehead against the white porcelain of the toilet until he felt a huge headache fill his head. Plus, the constant ringing in his ears that was caused by Carlos' nonstop chatter about slides and sprinklers virtually damaged his train of thought. What train of thought? The Mental Cranium Voice that told him not to overreact about his missing bandanas, but he did. James turned around and smacked his hands on the raven's plump cheeks. Carlos' tongue got caught in his teeth and a light blush slowly crept up his face.

"I get it. Just…stop talking. You're about to kill me psychologically," James said, gulping as Carlos' lips parted so he could reply. "But first we recover my bandanas…like you insisted _first_," was all he could add to stay cool.

"O-okay…" stuttered Carlos, and without warning he stood up on his tip toes, leaned his face forward and gently kissed the tall boy on the lips. "I know you were jealous…"

As Carlos finished he stepped back, and at the same time, stomps were heard. Both boys turned around to find the _mad_ girl that had previously chased James to near annihilation.

James' eyes grew wide. "What-what are you doing here? How did you find me? Wait—why are you in the _boys'_ restroom?"

The girl snarled. "Shut the fuck up! Wow—now you're hitting on a _little kid?_ How pathetic! I'm going to beat you to death you sick, _sick_ per–"

"Marivel! What the _hell_ are you doing in a restroom? You are supposed to be working right now, you damn psycho-bitch! Come with me, I've been looking for you all over! Gosh, the boss is going to be pissed off!" yelled a man who looked to be in his early twenties.

"Jake! L-let go of me! This is the guy that I'm talking about. I swear I'm not lying, it's this fucking bastard!" Marivel pointed at James, her eyes on fire. "Hey! I said–"

"I don't want to hear it, dumbass! I'm probably going to get fired because of you, and my break barely ended! I'm supposed to be working right now!" the man shouted, grabbing her by the waist.

It seemed to take forever as the deranged girl screamed and kicked her legs while Jake dragged her out, saluting at James and Carlos as he closed the door of the restroom, making sure Marivel's flailing legs didn't get stuck. The two boys were frozen solid, majorly scarred at what they had just seen. Never had they seen a girl that…problematic. This was an extensive first in their list of Bonker Occasions, counting out that time when Stephanie had terrified them out of their wits with the ghost act. Carlos spoke up.

"…_Little?_" Carlos wondered, shaking his head in furious bewilderment.

James sighed. "Carlos, just igno–"

"Little? Little! I'm not little, am I?" Carlos scowled, grabbing James and putting them both in front a mirror.

The brunette gritted his teeth. "Don't liste–"

"I'm not little! _You're_ tall, and that's not fair! Oh! I got an idea… Now, where's my hammer? I can use this side to–"

"No! Don't hit me with that—are you _crazy?_ You're going to kill me with that! Put that thing away, Carlos."

The raven frowned. "Kill you? How am I going to kill you by doing this?"

Nimbly, the raven lifted the hammer and with the claw, he lifted the tall boy's hat. Carlos smiled as he saw in the mirror that that had shortened James' height barely. Pleased by the outcome, he put the hat on, making _his_ height scarcely taller. The brunette's brows furrowed.

"I paid twenty-eight dollars for that hat," he said.

Carlos rolled his eyes, putting the tiny hammer back in his jeans pocket. "I paid none. Besides, I make it look better, and this'll be the perfect camouflage for the playground! I'll be a jungle spy, or a forest spy. Meowr! Huh, aren't they the same– Ah, a junrest spy! Or…that sounds freaky. What do you think, James?" Carlos smiled at the tall brunette, waiting for his answer.

"You're not a spy, that's not your hat, and you're wrong." James smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Wrong about what?" questioned Carlos as he looked at himself on the mirror, adjusting the hat. He raised an eyebrow and turned to his side. "This is better than my helmet."

The tall boy rolled his eyes and spontaneously grabbed Carlos' chin, leaning his face close to the raven's. "About your _free_ payment for my hat."

It was common that whenever Carlos did something to barely irritate James, the brunette would punish him by rabidly kissing him until the shorter boy's lips were purple and bruised—depending on how much force was exerted onto the breathtaking kiss. And that's exactly what happened. Grabbing a chockfull of Carlos' jet-black hair with his other hand, James smashed his lips onto the Hispanic's. Feeling the short boy's arms wrap around his waist, James smirked once again and backed him up against a wall.

Carlos grunted as his back hit smooth surface, the cold of it seeping through his clothes. He moaned as he felt James' tongue lick his lips, asking for entrance, and he gladly opened his mouth, letting the pink slimy muscle caress his crevices. At least James wasn't fully violating his lips _this_ time. The tall boy breathed and he pulled away, yanking his hat from Carlos' head and putting it on his own. The raven supported himself against the wall, tired from the unexpected kiss, and took off his sunglasses. He rubbed his reddened eyes innocently. James scowled.

"What happened to your eyes? They're red…not their normally sexy brown that I see every night—dilating, popping, shutting and opening when we–"

"Logan! He…white…my eyes, burns, screams!" Carlos blurted out, turning a cherry red, managing to interrupt his friend's uncensored sentence in time. "Kendall, naked!" James raised a hand. "Me. Horny? You–" And slapped Carlos right on the cheek.

"Get a hold of yourself, dude! I didn't ask you to scream at me in _Gibberish_. Now, tell me in _American English_ what exactly happened?"

Carlos gulped and played with his fingers, the ruby blush painting his ears. "W-well, I was finishing my lunch when I started to hear noises. So I turned around and found K-Kendall, y– Lo-Logan, stroking. Spurt!" The raven began biting on his nails, cold sweat producing on his forehead.

James mouth opened halfway. "What?"

Carlos took a deep, shaky breath and once again began rubbing his eyes as if they seemed to itch or burn. "Kendall…was giving Logan a…handjob on the couch. So when I turned around _stuff_ squirted in my eyes. Gah, it wasn't _fun!_"

The tall brunette bit his bottom lip, his cheeks puffing up. Carlos scowled, and before he could ask James why he looked like he was about to burst, it happened. James broke out in a resonant fit of laughter. It could have been heard all the way to Dak Zevon's studio, where Mrs. Knight and Katie were at the moment since eleven a.m, probably trying to get autographs. Which explained why Kendall and Logan were free to do as they pleased. _Which_ explained why Carlos had left the house. It wasn't the moans that had driven him out; it was the picturesque that had struck his mind like a needle. But much, _much_ worse. James was now on the floor, laughing his head off—metaphorically.

"It's not funny, James! D-do you know how hard it is to look…at _that_, and contain your feelings inside b–"

The brunette giggled, standing up. He whispered in the short boy's ear, "So, really, you _came_…here because you wanted me to give you a handjob too?"

"N-no! I-I mean I–"

"Don't be so modest, Carlos. If you want it so badly you just have to ask. You do it every night when you wake up from a dirty dream. All I have to do to calm you down is stick my hand down your pants, and–"

"I get it!" Carlos shouted, pushing James away and putting on his sunglasses as his face flushed. "Whatever. You can quit the talking. Besides, don't you want to recover your bandanas? Come on, let's go," he said, pulling on the tall boy's arm and hauling him out of the restroom.

"Aww." James snickered as he was being transported out of the Food Court and into a store. The lustful eyes he had been looking at his boyfriend with a second ago were quickly erased by confusion. "Carlos?"

"What," said the raven, looking around the store with raised eyebrows.

"This isn't…ah… It's Playboy," James answered, puckering his lips.

"Oh, damn…" Carlos looked around again, this time noticing the abnormal things they had in the store.

On one wall there were racks stuffed with kinky outfits: bunny costumes, and not the 'fluffy and cute' type. There were dozens of French maid dresses, and each one had an exaggeratedly short height in its skirt. Most mind-numbing of all, there was an outfit made out of plain leather straps—practically, it covered _nothing_ of the body. Another corner had dozens of shelves filled with…_stuff_. The top shelves had odd-looking toys—there were coloured strings that looked to have sharp metal clips at each end with an attached electrical plug cord. The other toys were just too…indescribable.

"Carlos! Yo, man!" James called angrily, depriving the raven's eyes from the eccentric 'toys'. "Come here! Look what I found… Bandanas! And they're _way_ better than the ones I bought! Oh, these have rhinestones on them. I like the black one. Hell with that, I'm going to get them in every colour!"

"Umm… Sure…" the raven answered, chewing on the inside of his cheek while rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm going to look over there. See ya!"

And he ran off, not bothering to hear what his friend had just said. Probably something about the bandanas. Carlos bit his lip as he neared another stack of dozens of shelves, spotting more queer 'toys' now that he was closer. One of them held these gelatin-like thick sticks that looked oddly familiar to… The raven's mouth opened into a stricken 'o'. They actually had _dildos_ in a place like this; what kind of freaky level are these people _on?_ Sure, this was the first time that he ever entered a Playboy store, but he'd heard rumours that it had stuff like 'costumes', 'oils', and other stuff but…_those things_. Carlos blushed scarlet. Okay, he was just as guilty as the people that made these things and others who used them; he's done it for real. Multiple times.

"Whatever…" he muttered to himself, heading for another section in the store.

"Hey, kid!" someone shouted.

Carlos turned around to find a man looking at him with a smile. He had dark-brown hair in a choppy tapered haircut, and dark bushy eyebrows that complimented his honey-coloured pupils. His skin was one shade lighter than Carlos'. The scariest part? He was monstrously tall, kind of like James, but only by two inches. The raven swallowed, raising his neck—enough to almost split it in half—to look at the guy on the face.

"Yes?" Carlos asked, swaying his body back and forth.

"I saw you looking at our items over there and wondered… Would you like to buy one? We're having a sale—three for fifteen and you can pick them in any colour, size, and the special effect of a vibrator. How about it, kid?"

For a second, the Hispanic boy had on a 'what the fuck you talkin' about' face. "Do you work here?"

The man blinked, and then smiled again. He stretched his hand and hesitantly, Carlos shook it. "Sorry, I'm new here, I'll introduce myself properly. Welcome to the Playboy Store, I'm Colin Hayes. May I help you? Uh, I think that's it…"

Carlos gave him a half smile. "No thanks, but thanks? Do you have helmets here? Specifically, a black one that has a quaint shine to it when turned to the side. Preferably made out of heavy-weighing plastic."

Puzzlement shone over Mr. Hayes' face. "No…but, we _do_ have a pair of long bunny ears made out of soft cloth. Try them on!" Colin grinned, taking out cream-coloured bunny ears from a nearby wooden box and putting them on the Hispanic boy's head.

"They make you look irresistible," said James out of nowhere.

At the sound of his voice, Carlos jumped. If there hadn't been a roof above them, he would have bounced out. He put his hand to his chest, calming the beat of his heart and turned around. James was looking at him with a huge smirk.

"They're not mine," Carlos growled, taking the ears off, and giving them back to Colin. "You can have them back."

Colin bit his lip, fist-gripping the furry bunny ears. "A-are you sure? There's also a sale on these and cat ears; five for ten! Price originally eight for each so it's really cheap and the sale will only last until today, so if you come tomorrow–"

James laughed, which interrupted the honey-eyed man. "We get it. I'll buy a pair of floppy bunny ears. Do you have them in white?"

Colin beamed and ran to the back of the store, pushing away some curtains and rushing into the secret entrance. "I'll be right back!" his echo answered, bouncing on every wall of the store which made everyone in there blink and briefly stare at the hot pink curtains.

"I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff," Carlos questioned, looking at his tall friend with a baffled expression.

James smiled. "Who says it's for me?" He grinned as Mr. Hayes came back with a pair of white long bunny ears and skipped towards the checkout counter, his brand new bandana bags bouncing on his arms.

Carlos scowled and mumbled to himself, "How could they _not_ have helmets here? Even Build-A-Bear has them! It's not fair, I say. Helmets are necessary for everyday adventure life!"

Minutes later, the brunette and the raven walked out of the store with James being burdened by _thousands_ of heavy bags. It seemed that being in the Playboy store had triggered the…voluptuous shopper inside him. Aside from the jeweled bandanas and the pair of bunny ears, he'd made out with almost everything in the ridiculous store. Starting with two of the outfits that Carlos had blushed at; a French maid dress and the not-so-innocent bunny costume.

The freaky thing was that both the outfits had been picked out in _his_ size, which had been fairly easy to find. It made ghostly shivers run down Carlos' spine. Next in line of the 'essential' spendings were the ones that Colin had described as play toys you could use when you're _bored_ during _fun time_. Obviously, he took the boys as idiots, thinking that they'd get freaked out by _formal_ talk. Carlos wasn't an idiot, but he did get nervous around the 'adult' words. So he was kind of grateful for Colin's vocabulary.

"What are you going to do with that stuff?" asked Carlos as they both sat down on a bench near a toy store.

Carlos bit his lip, subduing the urge of going all monkey with all the action figures in there, who were pretty visible since each of them was standing up neatly on a glass shelf in front of the main display window.

James smiled at him. "You'll find out soon."

"Okay," was all the raven could respond before his friend yanked him up to his feet and they started walking again.

"Carlos," spoke the brunette, as they reached a dark hallway were all the stores were eerily closed. "I want to make a bet. You up for it?"

Carlos grinned and didn't wait a second longer to answer, "Yeah! What's it about? Pranking Logan? Beating Kendall at hockey? Oh, I got it! Filling up Gustavo's office with spoiled pudding! Huh, huh, huh?" His eyes went extremely huge that his sunglasses almost popped off of his face.

James raised an eyebrow. "No. But…you're not even close. You see this dress here? I bet you can't wear it for the whole entire day. If you lose– Well, you'll see." He snickered.

Carlos scowled that adorable scowl that let James know that his friend was undoubtedly ambivalent. "And if I win? I'll win for sure!"

"_Sure_. Here, there's a restroom over there, go put it on. Don't worry about the sunglasses; the outfit's a good disguise for you. I'll take them when you're done dressing."

As the French maid dress was handed to the raven, his jaw dropped just a bit. "I have to wear it right now? Right here?" James nodded. "B-but we're still in the mall! Can't it wait until we get home?"

"Nope." James smiled.

"Please," Carlos begged, his charming brown eyes growing wide.

"Oh no. Puppy eyes—keep it together, James," the brunette thought. "Keep it together… K-keep it–"

"Alright, fine!" James exclaimed, utterly defeated.

Carlos grinned. "Awesome. So when do we go home?"

"What do you mean?"

Carlos puckered his lips. "Well…Logan left. With Kendall."

James scowled. "_What_ are you talking about?" he inquired, feeling quite a bit irritated by his friend's mind tricks.

"Logan gave me a ride here to apologize for what happened and he and Kendall left. Can you believe them? They didn't wait for me, it's not fair. I hate them! I wonder where they went. Maybe they went to the arcade to play DDR…beating _my_ high score… No! I spent forty-eight hours straight reclaiming it when that stupid little kid came and won it like nothing! James! We _have_ to go _now_. _Now_, to the arcade!"

The brunette facepalmed. "Carlos, shut up. Logan and Kendall are not at the arcade, and we are not going there. We're going home so I can win the bet."

"Who says _you're_ going to win? I have a helmet! Well, not right now, but I will later and you're going to be eating your words–"

"You are not going to be wearing that fashion disgrace with the dress," James declared as he grabbed his friend's collar from the back and started dragging him out of the dark hallway out to the driveway where a huge black limo stood.

"So that's how he got here… I could have done that! Stupid, stupid me," thought Carlos as he was thrown roughly into the large vehicle.

James came in, setting his shopping bags on the floor and taking off his sunglasses and hat. The raven did the same, throwing his sunglasses at the back of the limo, and landing who knows where. The engine started…

**ooo**

"Hurry up," called James, impatiently waiting outside of apartment 2J.

Logan and Kendall weren't there, so it was unknown where they went. Unless Carlos was right and they really went to the arcade, which was one in a million. Mrs. Knight and Katie still hadn't arrived. Maybe they were sent to jail for stalking…or maybe not. So the place was completely empty by the time they arrived. The brunette had bitten his lip, refraining from showing off his smile of joy. Now no one could interrupt his so-called 'bet'. The raven had groaned out loud, and then James suppressed a snicker.

"It's embarrassing…" answered Carlos from inside, leaning against the front door.

The minute they had arrived, James had made a mess in the living room, taking out the dress and its little extras. Being the secretive shy boy he was, Carlos had kicked out his friend as he dressed in the ridiculous uniform. Now he was blushing robin red from left ear to right ear, trying to lower the three-inch skirt that couldn't be lowered any further. The French maid dress wasn't any ordinary outfit, even for a boy like _Carlos_—because he'd be willing to try anything once. Or twice.

It had a deep v-neck lining with white fluffy lace, combining perfectly with thin black straps that hooked over his shoulders, and puffy white sleeves that hanged loosely below his shoulders. The lower part of it squeezed his waist tightly with a cute white apron on top of the soft black cloth, revealing his perfect curves. The sooty hat resembled a crown, also lined with white wavy lacing, and to add, a black choker was ringed tight upon his throat. Yet none of that compared to the horrible experience that was high heels.

"Carlos!" James knocked on the door, exasperated.

"Fine…"

Gradually, the door was unlocked and out came the raven…having no chance to try and walk in the damn high heels before his tall friend grabbed his arm and dragged him outside to the pool area.

"James! Wh-what are you doing? We're outside–"

"I forgot to mention didn't I? The bet involves you doing things for me–"

"What? What! Can't we at least go inside? I don't want anyone seeing me in this thing." Carlos pouted.

"Carlos? Why are you wearing _that?_" Stephanie's voice.

Both boys turned around to find the girl dripping wet, her swimsuit sticking to her skin, and a blue towel covering her lower half. Carlos blushed, upset by already being found out. Quickly, he turned around and ran, forgetting all about the obvious pool, which was empty at the time since all the kids were either standing in a safe corner or sitting on lounge chairs, jaws agape as the raven ran straight into the pool, splashing everyone. Carlos popped up out of the water, gasping for his life as James came to the edge of the pool, crouching down.

"Dude…" the brunette sighed, slapping his hand to his wet, clothed chest.

"That…was…awesome!" the raven exclaimed, getting out of the pool and shaking himself like a dog who recently got out of a bath.

"Um… Carlos?" Stephanie pointed, were a pair of dark blue boxers with a drawing of a huge green turtle was floating right next to the French maid hat.

Suddenly, a huge net was dipped in the pool, seconds later to come up with the boxers and hat inside it. Camille frowned as she swerved the net towards Carlos' direction, almost hitting him on the face. At the same time, the Jennifers passed, giving the net and the raven appalled looks. Carlos turned red once again.

"I believe _this_ is yours," Camille accused with a raised eyebrow.

"You ruined the dress!" James shouted, for the third time grabbing Carlos' _wet_ collar and dragging him inside.

"No! My sea turtle! Wally!" he cried, stretching his arms to get the clothing items, only to fail.

As if in slow motion, his view of Camille looking at the net with a mildly disgusted face disappeared, along with all the other people—some were laughing, probably because of his outfit, and the others began cheering, obviously because of the big splash.

Once they were inside of the apartment James went to the bathroom, coming out with a towel and smothering it all over his face. Carlos sat down on the couch, not caring if it got wet, _which_ it did. Of course, taking the towel from his face and noticing for the first time his friend's wet figure and the dress tightly hugging his body made James' hormones rage like fire.

"Hey, Carlos, are you okay? You look weird." James smiled halfway, sitting next to his raven friend who mysteriously had his helmet on already and taken off the daft high heels.

"Dude, everyone saw me in _this!_ And there's a breeze down there, if you know what I mean. I'm going to go get Wally ba–"

"No, you are not," demanded the brunette as he grabbed Carlos by the neck, and slammed his body back to the sofa. Casually, he brought his own head down and pressed his lips to his friend's.

"James, what are you–"

But the raven couldn't finish his sentence because the taller boy had already stuck his invasive tongue in his mouth, losing his ability to talk. Suddenly, he felt something soft slither down his inner thigh. Carlos opened his formally closed eyes and looked down to find James' hand reaching his private. Teasingly, the brunette rubbed his index finger at the bottom of Carlos' member, making the raven slightly gasp in the kiss. Carlos whined as the finger was taken away, replaced by a quick gentle breeze.

The warm lips that had once encased his had gone, too. A turn was taken in the ecstatic situation as James lifted Carlos without a falter and put him lightly on his lap, adjusting the short boy so he could be comfortable. Before Carlos could respond, the brunette slammed his mouth onto his once again. The thought clicked finally in Carlos' mind: James was angry, and realizing his lips had already begun to throb in pain, he was about to get his punishment… Without a signal, the same taunting hand was upon the raven's shaft, wrapping itself all around it and pumping it slowly. Carlos moaned into the kiss and pulled away, breathing heavily. James smirked.

"That thing's bothering me," he said as he tipped the unfastened helmet with his free hand off his friend's head, revealing his cute, jet-black helmet hair.

That taken care of, he resumed to ravish the raven, teasing his cock, making Carlos jerk furiously to his touch which triggered more raging, obscene hormones within the brunette. James licked his lips, and with the same hand, glided his fingers down until he could feel his small entrance. The raven drew in a sharp breath as he felt a nail scrape the sensitive skin; suddenly it was wet and sticky. Lubricant. A finger was entered and Carlos closed his eyes, pressing his bruised lips together.

"Don't close that pretty mouth of yours, Carlitos," James said sensually as he once again stuck his lips to Carlos', bruising them to reach the colour violet.

A second wet finger was added, and they began to thrust into the tiny entrance. Two hungry mouths fought with each other—James rabidly stuck his tongue into Carlos' mouth and wrapped it around his. The two fingers began scissoring the taut hole, and Carlos squeaked in pleasure.

The front door opened.

"I'm not going to wear this thing all day! It was enough when you made me wear it in the arcade. It's ridiculous!" Logan complained.

"But you look so–"

Kendall's eyes went wide. So did Logan's. Carlos' mouth opened into an 'o'. James' face shone with abashed shock. Reason being because…well, Logan Mitchell, who was crazy enough to dress up like a girl once, was now wearing a French. Maid. Dress. It was the exact replica of Carlos'.

"What the hell are you wearing?" said the raven and Logan, both blushing.

James stood up and tried to keep his cool, acting as if he hadn't done anything a few seconds ago as Kendall fell on the floor, and started to laugh hysterically because of what he had just seen from the secretive couple—they were never open with their 'love' so it was quite amusing to interrupt them at a time like _this_, at least that's what Kendall thought. God knows what went through that boy's head.

"James made me wear this for a bet!" Carlos explained, standing up and walking over to Logan.

"Touché," Logan replied, sitting on a chair, Carlos following. "But…why are you wet?"

"_That_, my friend, was caused by a big splash I caused by running into the pool. You should have seen it! It was _awesome!_ _Everyone_ got covered in water, ha, ha, ha!"

Logan raised an eyebrow and gave a lopsided frown. "How is that awesome? Everyone knows that if you want to make a big splash you are supposed to tuck yourself in _while_ you jump. Not just run into it." He laughed.

Carlos scowled. "Nu-uh! You make a bigger splash by just jumping and putting all your body weight to your toes!"

Logan rolled his eyes and crossed his arms on his chest, refusing to believe his friend's information. "That is wrong."

"No, it is not," countered Carlos, standing up and stomping his foot.

"Yes, it is," Logan growled, standing up also and inching his face closer to his shorter friend.

Kendall was still laughing from what he had seen of James and Carlos, and James was clearing his throat constantly, still trying to maintain his cool that his voice was ready to give up on him. Just when it couldn't get anymore ludicrous, the other two arguing boys pounced on each other. Logan pinned Carlos' arms to the floor as he sat on his knees, preventing the Hispanic boy from escaping. Carlos gritted his teeth.

"Yes. It. Is," Logan confirmed.

And as all this happened, the front door unexpectedly opened once again, revealing a red-faced Gustavo and a lip-biting Kelly.

"Dogs! You were supposed to be at the studio at– What the? What is this?"

Kelly analyzed the view, leaned in and whispered, "I think that the boys were excessively tired from all the recordings and James went to the mall because of a sale on bandanas, encountering Carlos an hour later after being chased by a demonic girl, leading to James' Playboy Shopping Spree. Then they both made a bet, the effect being both Logan and Carlos end up in French maid dresses, Kendall laughing, and James combing his hair with his lucky comb." Disappointedly, her whisper was more of a loud interpretation.

The whole room went quiet and all the boys froze.

"…What?" Gustavo and the boys said, frowning in utter puzzlement.

"Um, I mean…" Kelly shook her head. "Y-you guys need to go to the studio, now! Hurry up!" she shouted in an indecisive aggressive voice while snapping her fingers.

"But first, go dress like _people!_" Gustavo commanded, nodding at Carlos and Logan with their French maid outfits, James who had already covered himself with glittery bandanas, and Kendall, well…he himself hadn't discovered that he still wore his pajamas from two days ago.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry it was so long and for the random ending; got lazy at the end, haha.

R&R's would make me feel less guilty. (:


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